THE MILLENNIAL WIFE
So I’m just gonna assume I fall into the millennial category,I’m a 90’s baby proudly! So I got married at 20 in Chicago while I was stationed there. Far away from parental scrutiny lol. Me and the hubbers just kind of eloped, then told our parents after the fact. We had dated for 9 months before getting married so we knew it was kind of fast! And were fully prepared to get an earful from our families and we did! But now the dust has settled and we are in somewhat of an everyday routine now.
We were both brought up in southern churches, but as youngins, as soon as we left the house we did what we wanted! But we knew after we got married, we wanted to give our lives to Christ, but we just didn’t know when. Early in our marriage (first year) it was a struggle, but an awesome struggle! We had our first Apartment! YAY! But it had bed bugs…BOOOO…we can have over as many friends as we like! YYAAAAYY !but they trash your stuff and eat all your food….BOOOO…we have extra money YAAAAYY!!bills sure do pile up fast….BOOOOO. You see where I’m going with this? We had lots of trial and error , and we had no everyday guidance from our parents being so far away from home (Ga,Va) but at the same token, we needed to fall on our faces a little to learn some things. We are still learning everyday! But the first year really put things in perspective. AHEM…. This is what we learned:
-We cannot be married without the Lord in our lives. Looking back now, ( 3years ago) It was by the grace of God that we didn’t call it quits the first year. God has brought us through so much, and I don’t know how we did things before getting saved. We are so much better now for it. There are some trials we go through now where im like “Lord, if it was not for You in our lives…..” My husband is such an attentive man. He has humbled himself alot since giving his life to Jesus. We pray together everyday. We pray over our son, over our neighbors, our families, our families situations, our situations…we pray over everything! Even saying grace can become a whole sermon! Being married and going through life with a partner, we have learned there are so many things out of our control, and there is such much we try to handle. We try to handle too much! Just give it to God, keep your faith strong, and it definitely keeps the drama down in our marriage.
-Say adios to your single friends! They will only stick around because your house is the hang out spot, but that will fade quickly
-3 is a crowd anyways! Especially if you are both working, all you want to do is be at home bumming it with your boo. The sting of your single friends not visiting any more will fade quickly, and your house will stay cleaner longer.
-Because you are married you are automatically assumed to be responsible, so therefore if your buddies are in a pickle , you better believe you are at the top of their call list. Being in the military,your homies will definitely call you first to get them out of a jam or to help sober them up before duty the next day.
-“KIDS!?”orrrr “NO WAIT FOR KIDS” … or… “HAVE KIDS!” everyone assumed that I was going to be pregnant as soon as I said “I do” but we decided to wait so we can enjoy each other first and get familiar with one another’s everyday “isms ” like for example; I’m a morning person! Hubby is a night owl. Knowing that , we already knew who would play what role in bedtime and waking up when we had kids. But that would not have been established if we didn’t get adjusted to the other persons routine. It also cuts down on a lot of frustration in my opinion. We are still getting to know each other better everyday, but it helped before having a little one, in our case.
-Still working out the kinks in our finances. We have very different spending habits! And that was something that we seriously had to adjust! I’m a window shopper, planner, budget, and occasionally clip coupons. Hubby buys what he sees and can’t stand window shopping.I don’t blame him, it sucks sometimes to look at something you aren’t going to buy, but it’s good to know what to save for. Because we both work for Uncle Sam, it didn’t take to terribly long to get on one accord money wise. But like I said previously, still working out the kinks.
-last thing I learned: Listen to advice from older couples, and take out of it what you NEED! I know a lot of young couples (like us) don’t like to accept advice from our elders because we feel what they know doesn’t apply to us. But that simply isn’t true! We have avoided alot of bad things just turning our ears ON.
Pt3. Coming soon.. 🙂